The Real Tessa Gray
by nothingbullshit
Summary: Ever wonder how Tessa spent her long years of wandering, supposedly alone? Here is the story of the real Tessa.
1. Chapter 1

1. Encounter

I am sitting on a bench in the park when a woman approaches. I watch her intently and speak up before she passes me. "Aren't you Tessa Gray?"

She stops and turns to me. "Yes. How do you know?"

"Well, you look like her."

She stares at me for a moment. "Oh. Yup. People say that. Mind you, I look like her in her younger days."

"Clare must have been a pretty 17-year-old."

"Apparently."

Tessa looks skyward and closes her eyes. Her hand outstretched, as if offering.

Presently, a flock of chickadees come to take seeds from her palm.

"Easy, love," she says to the pecking birds, with a smile. "Easy, loves." She laughs.

I stand up and hold out my own seeds to feed the birds. Half of the beaks soon come to my palm. Tessa opens her eyes and says laughing, "Thanks!"

Obviously having enough, the birds fly away. She murmurs, "Sometimes I feel like a caged bird."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

She says nothing more. Affected by her mood and trying to offer some comfort, I say, "So you're back with Jem."

Tessa closes her eyes again and takes a deep breath, saying nothing. "How I love the sunshine! And being free" Then, she smiles radiantly and exclaims, "Here's my man!"

I turn to see the man approaching. He's not Jem.

They hold hands, beaming at each other.

"Oh," Tessa says, turning to me. "This is Yves."

"Hi, Yves."

He shakes hands with me. He has a cute smile. I like him instantly.

"Huh, I forgot to ask for your name," Tessa looks slightly embarrassed.

"It's Nothing."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you can call me Nothing."

"What a peculiar name!"

"Yup." Seeing that they are ready to leave, I say, "I guess I'll see you around. And hear your story."

"Maybe."

Yves says to me, "It's nice to have met you."

"Same here."

Tessa walks away with her man. I am surprised that he is ordinary-looking. Nothing like Will and Jem.


	2. Chapter 2 Revelations

2. Revelations

Tessa is on the bench when I arrive at the park.

"Hello, Nothing!"

"Hello, Tessa!"

She sits beside me and takes seeds out of her pocket. The pecking does not hurt as much when it is shared between two palms.

"Are you meeting Yves here, like yesterday?"

"Yes! We're going to dinner. He'll be here soon."

"He seems like a nice man."

She smiles. "It's just so easy being with him."

We are quiet for a while. Being nosy, I finally ask, "But wouldn't Jem be missing you now?"

Her gaze remains on the chickadees. Almost imperceptibly her mood dips. "I run away," she murmurs. "I have been running away for 80 odd years. I was summoned back on and off, but I always find a way to run away. I run away as soon as I can, after- After I am no longer needed, I guess. I guess that's a way to describe how I feel."

"Did you try to run away when you're married to Will too?"

"Yes. Will practically became a bore, telling James who he should marry. I didn't agree with him on that." She sighs. "Life is complicated. When I was enaged to Jem, I wanted Will. When I was married to Will, I missed Jem." She has a mysterious smile on her face. "It's good that he met me on the bridge every year. We reconnected. We made love."

"While he's a Silent Brother, with vows?" I was surprised but not too much.

"Yeah. How do you think he remained in love with me all those years? And pursued me right after he left Silent Brotherhood?"

"What did Will say?" Seeing that Tessa says nothing, I ask in a different way, "Did he know?"

"I know he'd understand if he had known."

"I know that if our society allowed polygamy, you three could have lived happily together. No need for heartbreaks! And no story either! Ha!"

Tessa shrugs.

"Imagine the 3 of you in a big bed!"

Tessa laughs out loud and opens up more. "I was not a virgin when Will and I spent the night for the first time."

"Oh?"

"What do you think Jem and I did after our chaperone Church turned up?"

"He went to your room?"

"No. Sophie would have found us in the morning."

"You went to his room."

"He couldn't wait for our wedding day. That's what he initiated before Church interrupted us. Remember? I couldn't wait either, with the fire he started within me. I have always been a sexually healthy woman." There's another mysterious smile on her face. "That was not the first night we spent together either."

"Tell me." I do not feel like feigning surprise.

"I'll give you a clue. You know that Will asked me how to take off my dress, right?"

"Yeah."

"But Jem knew how to unlace my dress, without asking me, before Church's intrusion."

"Yeah. I was wondering about his deftness and surety, when he was supposed to be inexperienced."

"Ah, those were the days! Fun and carefree!"

Yves appears on the horizon. "But here is the man in my life now. I gotta go." Tessa looks at me and says, "It's good to share my little secrets."

"Any time, Tessa."


End file.
